|
|
|
by Matt Quinn |
31st July 2009 |
|
|
You could end world hunger, achieve world peace, fix global warming, house the homeless - you name it - and there would still be something wrong with the world. Essendon.
Many of you may point at the pain of being in the same city as the Purples, or the arrogance of the Eddies, the rivalry with the Swine, or even the boganity of Port Boganaide, but all this pales into insignificance next to the horror that is Essendon. If you're still not convinced, well I make the same argument as ever: what AFL club did Darren Bewick play for? I suggest that makes my case. From throat slitting gestures to stolen semi finals to the Windy Hill Massacre - wherever there is darkness in West Coast history, you find Essendon peeping out. Aaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggghhhh.
Squads |
| West
Coast Ruck |
B |
Matthew Spangher (30)
|
Darren Glass (23) |
Adam Selwood (37) |
Essenscum
Ruck |
| Nick Naitanui (9) |
F |
Hayden Skipworth (21) |
Jay Neagle (1) |
Sam Lonergan (14) |
Patrick Ryder (30) |
| Chris Masten (13) |
HB |
Sam Butler (26) |
Mitchell Brown (1) |
Shannon Hurn (25) |
Brent Prismall (9) |
| Brad Ebert (18) |
HF |
Nathan Lovett-Murray (42) |
Michael Hurley (22) |
Kyle Reimers (37) |
Jobe Watson (4) |
| |
C |
Matt Rosa (24) |
Matthew Priddis (11) |
Tim Houlihan (19) |
|
| |
C |
Angus Monfries (6) |
Henry Slattery (20) |
Andrew Lovett (13) |
|
| |
HF |
Andrew Embley (32) |
Josh Kennedy (17) |
Scott Selwood (10) |
|
| |
HB |
Ricky Dyson (2) |
Dustbin Fletcher (31) |
Adam McPhee (33) |
|
| |
F |
Quinten Lynch (21) |
Callum Wilson* (36) |
Mark LeCras (2) |
|
| |
B |
Heath Hocking (39) |
Tayte Pears (16) |
Andrew Welsh (12) |
|
|
|
| West
Coast Interchange |
David Wirrpanda (44), Tom Swift (15), Ben McKinley (27), Patrick McGinnity (35), |
|
|
Cale Hooker (26), Scott Lucas (25), Courtenay Dempsey (15), Brent Stanton (5), |
Essenscum
Interchange |
Weather |
 |
Fine
Maximum Temperature:21
|
|
Changes |
It'll be panic stations in the aircraft hanger with the recall of Ben McKinley, once a follower of the red and black, saved by the Eagles from a life of crime (because supporting Essendon is a crime you know) who kicked seven last time we played the Scum, while Callum Wilson gets his first shot at AFL with a chance to put the boot into the devils. Missing their chance to beat the Scum are Ash Hansen and Mark Seaby.
Over at the (censored), they've made four changes. Matthew Lloyd must be off to the World Diving Championships under the excuse of a heel injury, while Mark McVeigh (leg), Alwyn Davey (knee) and Jason Winderlich (back) have also been shot down this week before the game. Coming into the Squadron of Scounge are Heath Hocking, Hayden Skipworth, Sam Lonergan and Jay Neagle. |
Injuries and Suspensions |
Well, we're still Coxless and Kerrless (groins), while Mark Nicoski (back), Brett Jones (hamstring), Brent Staker (hand) and Jamie McNamara (thigh) are all unavailable. Luke Shuey, the Eagles second pick in last year's draft has been added to the Long Term Injury list and joins Beau Waters on the sidelines for the remainder of 2009.
Matthew Lloydganis misses this game after injuring a heel trying to do a reverse triple somersault in a pike position last week, joining David Hille (ACL), Jason Laycock (fracture), Mark McVeigh (thigh), Jason Winderlich (back) and youngster David Zaharakis (calf). That's enough Scum on the side to encourage you to get out the bleach. There may also be questions over the availability of Jobe Watson and Andrew Lovett. |
|
Lead up |
To say the Eagles have been playing crap is perhaps a slight understatement. It's a bit like saying the Eiffel Tower is a bit pointy looking. As the losing team in last week's "Worst Ever AFL Game".... It's been four long, long weeks since the Eagles earned a few premiership points, and if we lost to Port Boganaide, Fretankle and the Essenscum in three weeks, well that's a trio of horrors that no one should be forced to sit through.
Essendon. Well, I was laughing last week, even if it was that sod Mitch Morton who eventually sunk them. It means they've lost three of the last four games, and are (as we all must hope and indeed pray happens) in danger of missing the eight. It is the solemn responsibility of all clubs in the league to do their best to ensure that the finals are not blighted by the appearance of black and red. |
Matchups |
In lieu of my suggestion to bring out the anti-aircraft guns and just shooting the bastards from the sky, we'll have to just put up a team against them. May their ability completely disappear ('cause god knows, ours did last week). We start with the ruck, where we see a match up between the Hype, Nick Naitanui and Paddy "Pollutant" Ryder - though you'd expect Quinten Lynch to spend a lot of time in the ruck again this week. Ryder's been pretty good this year (spit), and the Eagles need all the help in the middle they can get, so how this pans out is pretty important.
The big problem for the Eagles this week will be that the Scum are pretty slick. They've got a bit of leg speed in the likes of Andrew "Lurgy" Lovett, Angus "Grime" Monfries, Jobe "my dad was good" Watson, and Nathan "Lather-Contaminant" Lovett-Murray. Someone has to stop a bit of that run, because the Eagles running brigade of Chris Masten, Brad Ebert, Matt Priddis and the like aren't exactly known for speed, in the same way it's not an attribute you assign to snails. There's a fair job there for Paddy McGinnity if he wants to put his hand up.
Down where the diving platform normally resides at Essendon games, the danger is always one Scott "Pestilence" Lucas. Who has made a career of Eagleicide over the years. Don't be fooled by his naming on the bench there. It's crucial that some Eagle stops him from his favourite meal - West Coast defenders.
At the other end, the key is to ensure that the Eagles send out a search party before the game to see if they can find the goals. As if 9.20 in the first Derby wasn't bad enough, 8.18 in the return one was a shocker. To this end Callum Wilson's been brought into the team for his debut (though his recent notable goal kicking performances have been 6.0 and 6.5 - so we'd hope for the former accuracy!). All of the Eagles forwards have shown a bit in one game or another, but only Mark LeCras has shown anything resembling consistency; I wouldn't be at all surprised to see that doyen of Scum, "Dustbin" Fletcher playing on him. Still, if - and as far as ifs go, 'tis an Everest of an if - but if the Eagles can kick straight, who knows what may happen... |
Recent Meetings
|
| We beat them last time we played them. Which is as it should be. The previous time of course, they beat us, which is an affront against nature. |
| 2008, Round 19 |
Subiaco Oval |
| West Coast |
|
6.3 |
|
10.6 |
|
12.9 |
|
17.11 (113) |
| Essenscum |
|
3.2 |
|
4.4 |
|
9.7 |
|
16.7 (103) |
| Sun 10th Aug 2008 |
West Coast by 10 |
| 2008, Round 12 |
Docklands |
| Essenscum |
|
4.6 |
|
7.11 |
|
11.14 |
|
16.17 (113) |
| West Coast |
|
4.1 |
|
6.6 |
|
9.11 |
|
13.13 (91) |
| Fri 13th Jun 2008 |
Essenscum by 22 |
| 2007, Round 22 |
Subiaco Oval |
| West Coast |
|
5.1 |
|
12.2 |
|
19.4 |
|
21.6 (132) |
| Essenscum |
|
2.3 |
|
5.6 |
|
11.8 |
|
19.10 (124) |
| Sat 1st Sep 2007 |
West Coast by 8 |
| 2007, Round 11 |
Docklands |
| Essenscum |
|
1.0 |
|
6.2 |
|
12.4 |
|
15.5 (95) |
| West Coast |
|
5.5 |
|
10.8 |
|
13.9 |
|
14.10 (94) |
| Fri 8th Jun 2007 |
Essenscum by 1 |
|
Head to Head |
| Overall: |
|
West Coast |
16 |
|
Essenscum |
23 |
|
Draws |
0 |
| At Subiaco Oval |
|
West Coast |
11 |
|
Essenscum |
2 |
|
Draws |
0 |
| West Coast biggest win: |
99 points; West Coast 26.19 (175) d Essenscum 11.10 (76) at WACA Ground, 1988, Round 2 |
| Essenscum biggest win: |
142 points; Essenscum 25.10 (160) d West Coast 1.12 (18) at Windy Hill, 1989, Round 15 |
|
Summary |
Are the Scum serious? Are the Eagles tanking harder than the Eastern Front? Will this game rise from the ashes of last week's abysmality to hit the dizzying heights of mediocre? Or even more? You never know.
There's a fair number of outs for the Bummers, and they're a club with a pretty poor record when they travel to Subiaco (there has to be some reason we've played them so many more times in Victoria). But this is a game that's a must win for the Defilement, while it's nothing more than a look ahead to 2010 for West Coast. However, it's just wrong to tip Essendon. |
Prediction: West Coast by five points |
|
|
| |
|
| |
Voice of Reason
2009-08-01 20:43:29
They ahve lots of their best players out, but we are tanking. We should have tried to recruit Ryder.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
